Exitium Sui - ’It’s an expression of who I am''
- Sparky
- 4 hours ago
- 5 min read
Exitium Sui is the sole creation of E.S (vocals- Instrumentation) and the result is a profoundly personal experience that reflects the self and that of experience. It is a cathartic release that explores and then destroys the simple genre tags of funeral doom and black metal that combined with subtle orchestration creates a sonic release that is disturbing yet also alluring. It is a darkness that is explained musically and profoundly. The new album is Unravelling, and it is so literally.
E.S. ‘’I guess the name came about because the writing process opened doors to process other aspects of my life, most of them being musical. I always find writing music for Exitium Sui to be wildly freeing. It somehow connects to my spirit in a way that other projects cannot. It seems like when I stop trying to be anything or to make anything, this project just comes to life and steers the boat itself. There is no expectation of my own, nor pressure to do anything at all. It just exists because it has to. The title isn’t really supposed to mean anything specific but if I were to search for meaning in the abstract, I would say that it represents an unravelling of pseudo-emotional chains.
The result is a very harrowing personal experience.
‘’I feel it reflects harrowing experiences that I have battled in the past but comes from a place of triumph and acceptance. Anything that is perceived as heart-wrenching on this record comes from wounding and resolve. This voice is not one of a lost soul who is searching for answers. It is one of a man that has let go. It’s like looking back at a dark tunnel surrounded by people who love you and knowing that even when you have to go through another one everything will be okay.
It is the heaviest expression of your art, not just so musically, but tonally and thematically? A deconstruction of all expectation?
‘’It’s an expression of who I am, what I have been, and who I have become. Musically speaking, a lot of this outpouring has been long in the making. I’m not ashamed of echoing my past while building upon a character who has a lot of growing to do. I think anybody that knows me as an artist would expect that a record like this would be within my scope. It is simply the strongest reflection of me thus far. It was never about trying harder to realise it, it was about being unafraid of revealing it.
Unravelling is based around expression rather than ticking genre boxes?
‘’The heavier side of my musical work naturally leans into doom these days. It’s not like I woke up one day wanting to play this style of music, it slowly crept into Deadspace over the years, but in that project, there is a legacy that needs to be respected. Doom and drone are my home and black metal is my heart; they just seem to come together here in harmony. Something that is important to Exitium Sui’s ethos is not to give people a sense of relationship to anything except the music itself. There is no hidden message, meaning, nor agenda. No shiny trinkets, no sense of ‘coolness’ or relevance. It either moves you or it doesn’t.
When the creation process for this album began did you realize the cathartic release it was becoming?
‘’To be really honest, I set a hopeful date on getting this together with Meuse Music Records a lot sooner than I actually delivered. Luckily, I have the coolest label in the world, and they never pressured me or nagged me at all. When I actually had an album, I could feel their excitement and the signing happened on first listen. This band simply doesn’t work until there can be a complete letting go. As much as it sounds contrary to the tone of the album, this is my happy place. This is where I come to create and destroy without afterthought. It’s either all on, or it’s not, and at one point it just happened. It’s like taking the lid off a carbonated bottle that’s been shaken for years.
The absence of light that runs throughout the record? Being so observant, the importance of looking inwards to oneself to find a solution?
‘’It’s more like dwindling light coming in through a window in a mostly dark room. It’s room to reflect, a time where sight gives way to something much more important. The album bounces outward observations off an inner shell. The end result is resonance that is often achieved after periods of uncomfortable tension but ultimately, there is a letting go.
What is it to be crippled by the God Hand?
‘’The God-Hand is a Berserk reference. In Berserk, the God-Hand is basically a group of beings that are hand-chosen to become malevolent entities at birth. Once they are initiated, they live selfish and evil lives, interfering with the lives of human beings. The song can be seen in two lights. Firstly, it confronts the psychosocial damage caused by enduring evil through others and how that challenges notions of hope, particularly on a personal and interpersonal level. Secondly, it explores the idea that there is a balance of innate conscience and evil within oneself and celebrates the privilege of choice. Some people are not gifted with such choice to act virtuously, be it because of external pressures to survive or the absence of mora guidance. We see this all the time. For instance, often, people in nefarious situations or societies do not kill or cheat because they want to but because they have to just to survive. This, I feel would be the ultimate prison-state to exist in. Moreover, it would be a deleterious personal disservice to act immorally when there is choice. Personal reflection enters the scope when there is choice, and the wrong one has been made. To accept is to repent, and to repent is to let go. It is probably also worth re-stating that Exitium Sui never aims to construct meaning through words, the meaning is revealed through the music. I have never started writing an album with a concept in mind, it has always been inspired through the journey of constructing the composition.
Is the self – destruction complete and how does re-genesis begin?
‘’If you’re referring to the band’s namesake, the idea of self-destruction was intended to be a little more multifaceted than a face-value statement. For myself, destruction is always part of the creation cycle. It can be viewed more as deconstruction. It is simply something that I need to go through before I can build anything new with the pieces. There was a period of it during this cycle, followed by a fairly rapid architecture of soundscapes that musical language took root in. I’m sure I will go through it again, maybe not for as long next time.
‘’I have music and expressions floating around in my mind already. Truth be told, this album was finished some time ago, but we needed time to plan its release. I would not be surprised if by the time it comes out, ideas begin bursting at the seams and something else is born. Only time will tell.
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