Of The Muses - ''You can find glimmers of hope or happiness in the darkness''

Cristina Rombi is Of The Muses. After the stunning post/atmospheric black metal debut that was Senhal, the solo artist has undertaken a new masterwork ‘Underheavens— of Blood, Ghosts and Saltwater’ , a deeply personal conceptual album that captures the beauty and sorrow of a loved ones passing. Musically it could not be more diverse with elements of nineties style music including pop, grunge, rock, and trip hop, yet it is presented in such an uncompromising manner with its honesty and moments of beauty and hope. Unmistakably Of the Muses, from the sumptuous ‘Spirits interlude’’, to ‘Phantom Limb’’ it is not an album but an experience that affects all the senses and moves the listener with its powerful journey.

‘’Thank you! Underheavens sounds very different compared to Senhal, but then again, the elements that I consider to be important and foundational to the way I write, are still very much present. It’s true that it’s totally a different style of music; I describe Senhal as an atmospheric black metal album, whereas Underheavens is completely in the realm of rock and perhaps even pop music, so the change is undeniable. At the same time, Senhal already had plenty of pop influences, and I feel that my preference for airy, luminous chord progressions and melodies was already on full display there. In short, the differences are undeniable and I’m happy that way, but in my opinion (at least hopefully) you can still tell the two albums were made by the same person!

Was it intentional to be bolder and more experimental?

‘’It was. Early on, at some point, I did try to write an album in the same vein as Senhal and put the new material on the backburner for a possible third full-length. But pretty soon, I started to realize I simply didn’t have it in me anymore. Everything felt forced, boring, and, worst of all, insincere. From that moment onwards I made it a point to stick with what felt alive and meaningful without looking back.

The decision to create such a personal concept album? My condolences, he must have been such a very special person to cause such inspiration.

‘He truly was. Even though we didn’t get to have a proper father/daughter relationship, for reasons you can probably imagine, I’m still proud of the person I know he was, and very much aware he did the best he could to be there for me, especially towards the end of his very short life.

‘The funny thing is that, prior to the event that precipitated my delayed grieving process and the decision to funnel it into an album (estranged family members on his side of the family reaching out to me on social media), I felt the extremely strong nudge to explore my roots through music, specifically through a sea-themed album (I grew up by the sea). That’s when I began recording these very impromptu voice notes on my phone where I would play what I felt were “watery” guitar melodies with vocalizations on top of them. That was months if not a whole year before I got that first DM. And when that happened, it felt like ripping off a band aid from this huge gaping wound that never healed, and all the feelings I never addressed within myself flooded my entire being and began consuming my thoughts and days, which made writing and processing an urgent necessity. Right away, my gut feeling about the nostalgic sea album I felt called to make started to make a whole lot of sense and I had no doubt about what the next OtM album would be about and what it would sound like.

Was it hard to convey and interpret a very personal feeling with the lyricism?

‘It was hard in a sense that I had to alter the way I normally write lyrics to suit the new material. I’m usually the person to write in a more stream-of-consciousness style, like on Senhal. On Underheavens, I had to be mindful every step of the way : from stuff like metrics, rhymes and assonance to have the vocal lines fit the purposefully ‘poppier’ and accessible song structures, to the actual tone of what I was saying to match the instrumentals underneath, to the need to avoid overused imagery when addressing experiences that are part of everyone’s life, like illness or death. I had to be very careful, I did a ton of research, sometimes spending weeks working on the same song lyrics to make sure I nailed the compromise between musicality and depth.

Was it hard to create something that has ended up so beautiful from such a harrowing situation?

‘Not as much as I expected because again, in some ways my unconscious (or whatever you want to call it) was already preparing me for this album, and quite possibly for the rest as well. Yes, there were times while recording the album demos in my living room, when I would start sobbing uncontrollably but I’m comfortable with intense surges of emotion, so it didn’t necessarily make things difficult, it was more like something that came with the territory. And even though the details and minutiae required a lot of attention, the songs themselves basically poured out of me.

In other words, it avoids all the cliches and is 100% honest?

‘Absolutely. Avoiding cliches and trite wording/metaphors was always one of my top priorities. Obviously, some feelings and experiences are just universal and there’s not much you can do about it, but I did my best to avoid being lazy with my writing. Same goes for the actual sound of the album; metal is not something I associate with this particular experience and topic, the music I used to listen to as a child is, so I went with that. Maybe a black metal or doom album about loss would have made more sense to some people but it wouldn’t’t have made sense to me, because that kind of sound is not relevant to my experience with death and loss.  

Where does the beauty and crescendo of a track like Phantom limb come from?

‘That crescendo comes from mainly two people: Déhà, who produced this album, and my singing teacher Vittoria. Of all the songs I wrote for Underheavens, Phantom Limb was the most “unfinished” the moment me and Déhà started working together. The other demos I sent him were already pretty much fleshed out and somewhat close to their final form. But the version of Phantom Limb, I e-mailed him was just my voice over a guitar track, and a very basic coda in the end. It did not really convey that buildup of tension you can hear on the album and that’s because I didn’t work on the demo a lot, because working on that song made me feel uneasy. Like poking a very squishy bug. So, I just sent him my very minimalistic, homemade demo and basically told him to do whatever he wanted with the arrangement, unlike with the other songs where I gave him very specific directions and a lot more tracks to work with. He completely transformed the song, turning into a grunge-y ballad of sorts, added the guitar solos, and overall allowed the song structure to really unfold. Then when I began practicing the songs with my teacher, she suggested I’d adjust my vocal dynamics to respect and emphasize the buildup, starting gentle and getting progressively more intense, and her advice was really what the song needed. She definitely noticed and heard things about my own song that didn’t register immediately for me and that outside perspective was truly precious. Thematically it’s a song about heroin and absent fathers so it’s one of the only two songs on the album that have more of a darkness to them, because they relate more to me developing awareness of those topics growing up, whereas most of the other songs are from the point of view of toddler/small child me, so to speak.

The vocal performance is so intrinsically linked and demanding. The styles and patterns created to reflect the subject matter. How does one put such feelings into words?

You’re right, it was demanding! I really had to go to some uncharted (for me) territories with my own voice, learning to project, to sing from my chest, to use a lot more power, relying a lot less on the classical influences that are part of my background. I knew right away my usual style of singing would have sounded out of place on the album so I made sure to find a coach who could teach me modern techniques and help me hone my lower register. So, the answer is: a mix of truly feeling your feelings and studying and practicing as much as you need.

The alt/trip hop beauty of The Night and its story?

‘’I’m glad you like the song! That warm pad and specifically the chord sequence it plays was the foundation of the whole song, I specifically wanted to use chords that reminded me of R&B and soul music but at the same time I wanted them to feel vaguely eerie. Then I built a beat to go with the chords, and I wanted it to have a bit of swing to it, almost a 90s boyband feel. After laying the groundwork I focused on the little embellishments here and there, the ominous mellotron choirs, the guitar arpeggio, and so on. I came up with the lyrics while working on the instrumentals; at some point after my father’s death, I started experiencing symptoms and feelings (or lack thereof) I didn’t necessarily have the words for, but that now, in hindsight, I would definitely classify as depression. For instance, among other related things, I experienced reoccurring and very specific suicidal ideations that I vividly remember mentioning to some of my then classmates in elementary school. And there were places, situations or even colors that triggered and sometimes exacerbated those feelings more than others, and there were also traumatic experiences piling up on top of older traumas while I was growing up. The song talks about that.

Its ode to the 90s and the various styles that represented a very unique time musically. Was it hard to capture such a period of time on both a personal and musical basis?

’’In a way, yes! I feel those influences are still very much contaminated by our (Déhà and I’s) metal background. I think this is especially noticeable in the overall production, the guitar tones, the drums… this was probably the truly challenging part because we couldn’t’t help bringing those heavier elements into the mix, as much as I personally tried not to. And so, while originally, I intended the album to sound true to the way music sounded back then, it’s probably a blessing it didn’t turn out like a carbon copy of something else. In terms of songwriting, it’s probably the other way round, I have a hard time writing “typical” metal progressions or melodies because the influence from the 90s bands I love is constantly working its way into whatever I happen to be writing.

The loss of loved ones affects everybody eventually, why is it so hard for people to talk about?

I think it’s partly because of the whole culture surrounding grief and loss, starting with the fact that people are supposed to pretty much get over it after a while, and continuing with the assumption that there is one proper way of grieving and the rest is unhealthy, or childish, or not spiritually enlightened. These are the kinds of misconceptions that make people feel confused and afraid to talk about their feelings for fear of sounding stupid. In my case it was especially difficult not only because of my age at the time, but also because of the stigma surrounding AIDS itself; it was so bad that I was actively discouraged from even bringing up my dad in conversations and my shy attempts would be swiftly shut down. I was basically trained to suppress my feelings, which was probably the case for many people who lost someone to AIDS in those years, because again, the stigma was rampant, and it used to make some people too ashamed to even just acknowledge the illness. It wasn’t until around the time I began writing Underheavens that I allowed myself to feel the full extent of the pain and mourn what was taken from me.

What happens after everything ends? Both in the real world and in the spiritual?

I don’t really have many certainties when it comes to spiritual matters. I do ask myself a lot of questions, but I don’t necessarily find the answers. In the end, I believe no one can know for sure; I do have experience with receiving “pings” from the other side in the form of synchronicities, or even weird stuff happening with household items. It’s very clear to me that something keeps existing in a different form after the body ceases its functions. At the same time, in the album, there’s a lot of emphasis on focusing on the here and now and not losing sight of the work that needs to be done on this side of the veil.

The ability/need to combine beauty amongst the darkness and the ability to overcome it?

'Yes! It’s part of the inherently paradoxical nature of life. It’s why I’m more drawn (both as a listener and as a songwriter) to music that has some degree of ambivalence rather than being entirely upbeat or sad. It’s a more accurate depiction of the complexity of the human condition where sometimes you can find glimmers of hope or happiness in the darkness, and sometimes you have to, if you want to survive.

To stand in the light and embrace the joy or memory?

‘’Absolutely. I like to think that it’s the best tribute to those who have transitioned from earthly existence.

Your varied releases prove music is timeless, where can it go and progress?

‘’Thank you! I think music can go anywhere you want it to; limitations are just in our head. Sometimes they’re reality based as well, since making music the way one wants to is not always the affordable option, but theoretically at least, in terms of creativity, there is virtually no limit to an artist’s growth and evolution. Personally, I’m in this very interesting place right now where I have lots of options in front of me and the freedom to pick the one that feels the most exciting, without caring about people’s expectations.

Is your music something that could be defined as how much you put yourself and emotions into rather than a genre?

‘’Totally. As I was saying in the beginning, there are some elements that feel completely ‘mine’ and that I will not be discarding anytime soon, and this is true for, say, the chords and chord progressions I’m drawn to as well as the emotional depth, the feelings, the deeply personal nature of the lyrics. You can express emotion in a myriad of different ways and I’m excited to experiment with at least a few of those!

Final thoughts?

‘’’’Thank you so much for this chat, it’s always a pleasure! There would be so much to say. We have multiple genocides going on, some weirdo with mismatched foundation is cutting off funding to programs that provide lifesaving medication to people living with HIV worldwide, doing your part can be as simple as choosing NOT to spend your money on brands or businesses that endorse the fuckery. Boycotting works! Much love.

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