Blodfält - ''You can't serve two masters''
Mörtemiis ( all instruments/voice) is the creator and mastermind behind Blodfält, a project that eptiomes the purity of raw black metal yet aslo the struggle of the spiritual in a ever demanding matrerial world. It is a collision of beliefs and dissention against the majority, An Adversary to accepted opinion.
What is Blodfält's future? you have been a little quiet creatively.
"From the start, Blodfält's future was filled with uncertainty and hardships. I thought at one point I'd regret staring the project, but once I stopped trying to copy and sound just like Antestor and Batushka and found my own raw sound, maybe it has some potential... I'm not too fussed about what its sole purpose is, but each of my projects represent one of the 5 stages of grief. That just adds some 'mystery' to my legacy. I'm trying hard to write amazing powerful melodies, but I get stuck in the 'burnt out disappointment' phase often and run out of good ideas... Blodfält may continue, just not releasing music as often as I originally planned..."
You have had the conflict between the spiritual and the physical world. And the economy?
"If my younger self could see how much sacrifice and suffering is involved in being a Christian and truly dedicating your will and life to Christ, she would've said 'hell no I'm not doing that!'. I am so torn between living according to God's will, in repentance, and living for myself, in sin, evil and pleasure... Sometimes I have suicidal thoughts just to put an end to my suffering and confusion... I don't have anything to do with the occult anymore, but I swear I've been seeing dark figures stalking me and objects moving by themselves... The economy? Britain has become a cesspool of corruption and criminals that’s just gone downhill so fast since Liz Truss messed things up. You hear of murders nearly every day, theft and all that, the news never shuts up about these things and continue to spread fear because it sells... There are elderly people being attacked by teenagers, even members of the Royal family have been caught bullying or attacking each other... Prices of everything rise by the minute. Soon we won't be able to even afford a loaf of bread and a can of beans... sure there are other countries who have it worse, and I'm not happy about that either, but that's another country, not my problem. I want to bomb the houses of Parliament, but that's never gonna happen. I could rant about this all day, but I think I'll keep my mouth shut just to not waste time..."
Why would people see it as deceiptful?
"It's because I'm supposed to be a servant of God, and I'm living such a life of sin. You can't serve two masters. You can't walk with God and be Lucifer's BFF at the same time, righteousness has nothing in common with wickedness, so it says in 2 Corinthians 6:14. I didn't know this until recently. There are lots of unbelievers in my family. My dying soul wishes only to repent and dwell in closeness to God. My heart wishes to serve His people, to serve Him, and to serve those in need, yet I'm here, poisoning my soul with temporary worldly pleasures and writhing in sin... I don't want to do this, but I feel I have to for the sake of survival..."
Is it a case of being judged without people understanding your personal struggle?
"I don't care what the people think. It’s more a case of being paranoid about being tracked, having everything I do associated with me as a musician and lack of understanding. I don’t want fame. I hate it when people say, 'you're not made for this go make music' or 'go touch grass', telling me how to live and what to do. I have a life outside of music y’know."
Should we have to explain our actions?
"It is wiser to admit our wrongdoings than to blame our surroundings. They say admitting you have a problem is the first step towards healing. I believe when God calls us to His courtroom, we are held accountable for our actions and our sins... We will stand before the angels, the son and the Father to be judged. Our guardian angels will not protect us nor defend us as mortal lawyers do. We will be accused, and no lie or excuse can save us from our final sentence... Christ is our only hope for defence and for salvation..."
Is it easy to forgive the sins of others rather than your own?
"Much easier yes. It is so easy to see the flaws and sins in others rather than our own. Forgiving yourself is easier said than done. None of us deserve forgiveness... Sometimes I think that I am pre-destined to be damned, like I am too evil and mentally sick to be forgiven... I have been known to say or do things I don't remember. It's like one minute I will pray and just want a few minutes alone and then suddenly I am not myself... May God forgive me because no human will..."
You have a dark secret that continues to haunt you?
"I have many dark secrets that the world will never know. This is only one of them. When I said I was taking up a career in 'modelling', it wasn't what you think. Sex sells, right? What sometimes gets you more money than a regular job at a grocery store? Amateur porn. Yes, I have earned money from this. Not much (yet) but it’s a start I suppose.. Life isn't about your stupid 'dream jobs' anymore. Do I regret it? Yes, deeply. It conflicts with my faith and is considered to be morally wrong, especially when you're already in a relationship. Sometimes I think 'what the hell have I gotten myself into?'. Sometimes I wish I was born a man so I wouldn't be in this situation. Of course people are gonna want to see the body of a small, curvy, big-chested woman in the prime of her youth, and they'd happily pay to see such a thing... I don't know how I could ever be forgiven for that..."
People condemning you for using onlyfans?
"It's cuz onlyfans is known to have pornographic content on there. Sure there are safe-for-work videos of people cooking and travelling and stuff, but nudes and porn is what it's mainly used for. Then there's the shameless/endless promotion work; they day in order to gain subs, you have to constantly promote yourself and post content... I HATE doing that! I don't like promotion, I don't like exposure, and I don't like too much attention! I don't want to be seen or known as a thirsty, attention seeking slut. I'd rather be a movie director or something, but I'm not rich and I can't afford to travel much..."
Does this drive your passion for music and inspire it?
"There is so much that tempts me to distance myself from the faith. I have to keep up a false act and image around certain people, making them think that I am a 'free thinking non believer'. To be that way one minute and then return to believing the next, it hurts. I can feel it eating away at my heart and soul. The pain inspires me to write songs that aren't so joyous in nature. To think that being a child of God always involves that soft heart 'happy-go-lucky' feeling is just delusional and fake... There are times I just want to play random melodies on the flute in a happy Celtic style because I feel the love of the Spirit coursing through me, praising Him for simply being our Saviour, and there are times where I want to break down into tears, smoke, drink, cut myself and write depressing stuff because of the deep heart piercing negativity that plagues my mind on a daily basis, knowing I can never forgive myself for the things I've done..."
Could Blodfalt be more than just music? Will it always be black metal ?
"Blodfält (meaning 'blood field') refers to the place where Judas committed suicide. This project could be used to preach the Christian gospel through song, to glorify Him through loud music itself, and to hopefully restore hope and 'plant a seed' in the hearts of those who are afraid to believe. Blodfält has been and will always be (Christian) black metal with a little Celtic-folky twang too."
Why is black metal So vital to you?
"It is the only genre that is true to my nature as a person. DSBM helped me bring out my deepest sorrows, black metal helps me deal with anger and religious issues, and I think doom metal will help me bring out deep hatred of other things like the way the world is. Unfortunately black metal seems to have lost a lot of its original character thanks to these stupid Gen-Z kids who listen to Ghost, throw on some 'corpse paint'(or what they think is corpse paint) and call themselves 'Brutal'. These types of kids ruin everything! Sure black metal might make some people uncomfortable, but a lot of the genre and its imagery has become too popular and doesn't seem to shock people anymore. Satanic lyrics doesn't really do that anyway, but as soon as someone brings Christianity into their music, people lose their minds. It's crazy. Do I care? No. I find it quite funny."
You have a doom project in the works?
"I have always thought about it. Doom metal seems to be more popular than black metal. I feel there could be a lot of potential with this idea and could let me have a more varied range of lyrical themes. I like to imagine this projects sound will be heavily influenced by Inkubus Sukkubus, Type O Negative and My Dying Bride, their singers all have a similar vocal range to my normal voice; deep, passionate and sometimes gentle. When I was 13 I wanted to be a power metal vocalist but I suck at using a high pitched voice. I'm no pitch-perfect angel, I'm no fancy opera singer, I just sing in whatever style I want because music is what I live for. I hate having to raise my voice at people, making them upset. The only time voices should be raised is in song and laughter..."
When can we expect new music?
"There's never any deadlines in my world, since I'm the only figure behind all my works.. I don't know really what to say apart from 'sooner or later'. I've gotten a lot of inspiration from bands like Adorned In Ash and Hortor lately.. I try to come up with original stuff more often, I don't particularly like doing covers.. I would say don't expect anything from me this year, I don't wanna live up to people's expectations. I'll just surprise you with new stuff instead... I will say bye for now and may God bless you."